The DisneyWorldINC Adventure
by flightless wren
Summary: MWPP&L all go to Disney World in Florida. Fun times in Muggle transport, talking mice, new names, and laughably small and unrealistic castles. THIS STORY HAS BEEN DISCONTINUED.
1. To the Airport

The DisneyWorld INC Adventure  
  
DISCLAIMER: We do not own Disney, Harry Potter characters, JKR, Warner Bros, DisneyWorld, the rides there, British Airways, East Tennessee trolleys, the Spanish people, the Spanish language, etc. Leave us alone.   
  
Author's Note: Actually, we don't really have a note. Never mind. Eat it.  
  
AND NOW... THE STORY.  
  
"Hey guys!" Sirius exclaimed as he burst into the Diagon Alley flat that he, James, Remus, and Peter shared, where Lily practically lived, but didn't really because all their mothers had fits about propriety. "Want to go to the land where all our dreams come true?" he asked, holding up tickets.   
  
"Have you been drinking again?" Remus asked suspiciously. "I told you to stay away from Hog's Head."  
  
"I have not been there since The Incident," Sirius said haughtily.   
  
"Did you go to those hippie things?" Lily exclaimed. "I told you not to take anything they gave you!"   
  
"I didn't!" Sirius exclaimed. James, however, was suspiciously quiet. But before Lily could notice this, Peter cut in.  
  
"So, then where IS this land where dreams come true?"  
  
"DisneyWorld!" Sirius said majestically.   
  
"YES!" James hollered, leaping up, punching the air ecstatically.   
  
"But, but we've already been to EuroDisney," Remus said.   
  
"BORING!" Sirius and James yelled together. "Besides," Sirius added, "I have free tickets."   
  
"How did you get free tickets?" Remus asked, with a warning tone in his voice.  
  
"My cousin Andromeda," Sirius answered. "Nymphadora said she hated talking mice, so Andie gave me the tickets."   
  
"How many people was she going to invite if you have enough tickets for us all to go?" James asked disbelievingly.   
  
"Let's see... Her, Nymphadora, Ted, me, and Uncle Alphard. The outcasts of the family."  
  
"Oh. So when do we leave?" Lily asked.  
  
"Tonight!" Sirius said excitedly.  
  
"WHAT!" they all shouted.   
  
"The plane leaves at 8:30!"   
  
They looked at the clock simultaneously. It was 4. Lily shrieked. "I'll be here at 8!" she yelled, running to the fireplace to Floo home, accidentally smacking herself in the forehead on the brick wall.   
  
The guys relaxed. Contrary to popular belief, guys don't take as long to pack as girls do. Peter ambled to the room he and Remus shared, and Remus began perusing his personal library, attempting to decide whether to bring any books, while James and Sirius talked excitedly about the all the Muggle transportation they would use.   
  
Four hours later, Lily tumbled into the main area of the flat, three large suitcases in hands. "Ready guys? We have to go into Muggle London to get to the airport, you know."   
  
"Huh? Oh, yeah," James replied casually. "Been ready  
  
for hours."   
  
"Yup!" Sirius joined in. "I've been ready for weeks!"  
  
"So that's why you've worn the same clothes for two weeks straight," Remus said in wonderment. Everyone except Sirius groaned.   
  
"Well, we should probably go," Peter rejoined. "We've only got half an hour to get to the airport. Does everyone have their passports?"   
  
"Duh." James tossed his up in the air. It got caught in the ceiling fan. "AAAAA!" he screamed, as his passport whirled around. "TURN OFF THE FAN!" he yelled, "TURN IT OFF!"   
  
"If ya know whaddimean, hanh hanh hanh!" Sirius said in a fake French accent, as Remus turned off the fan. James' passport flew through the air, smacking Lily in the nose.   
  
"AH! MY NOSE!" Lily exclaimed.   
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Come on, guys, we've gotta split!"   
  
~  
  
The gang all made their way through Diagon Alley, stopping at Quidditch Supplies Plus only once, and they only stayed for five minutes, at Lily's insistence. "But Lil!" James groaned, "The Comet Two Sixty is out! The fastest EVER!"   
  
They were trudging along, ignoring the stares they got from the Muggles because of their huge trunks and arguments over whether Chaser position was really better than the Keeper position in Quidditch. "Shut UP, guys!" Lily warned harshly. "People are staring!"   
  
"It's because they can sense we are going to the land where dreams come true!" Sirius exclaimed joyfully. "That kind of scent, the scent of pure happiness and excitement is noticeable to EVERYONE! Even Muggles!"   
  
Lily rolled her eyes. James twirled his wand around, and asked wistfully, "Can we not just Apparate? At least to the airport?"  
  
"No!" Sirius said sternly. "Hey! Look! A bus! Let's take ALL Muggle transportation!"   
  
"But we don't have very many pounds to waste on silly things like that, Sirius!" Peter said.   
  
"Sure we do! James took out about a thousand pounds!"   
  
"SIRIUS!" James hissed angrily. "Don't go around yelling things like that!"   
  
"Sorry, sorry."   
  
"Let's just Apparate," Remus said. "It's much quicker, and really, we shouldn't waste a bunch of money on the bus and things."   
  
"Oh fine," Sirius grumbled. They all scrambled to various secretive places and Apparated to the airport. 


	2. In the Airport

Chapter 2-On the Airplane  
  
"Alright, gentlemen, and lady," Sirius began excitedly. "This is where we give our passports to the passport-taker man, and then he approves it and we hand over our tickets and-"  
  
"Yes, Sirius, we know," James said impatiently. "Come on, the plane leaves in fifteen minutes!"  
  
Sirius laughed condescendingly. "Don't you know *anything* about travel, Prongsie?" James rolled his eyes, ushering Lily in front of him. Sirius continued, "Planes are *always* delayed. It's practically a law."  
  
"And with our luck," Peter said dryly, "This plane will be the only one that leaves on time." The five looked at each other. As one, they dashed to the counter.   
  
"Whoa! No line! Psychedelic!" Sirius shouted.   
  
"PSYCHEDELIC?" everyone chorused, staring at Sirius. "You *have* been to those hippie get-togethers!" Lily accused.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I don't expect you to understand me," he said calmly. "Meanwhile . . ." Sirius strode over to the desk. "Hello," glance at her name-tag, "Nadine," he said smoothly. "My name is Sirius Black and these are my traveling companions, James Potter, Lily Evans, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. We are here for the flight out of Gatwick -which is here- to BNA in Nashville, where we will travel to Atlanta International and fly to Disney World. Can you tell me where that terminal is, darling?" he asked, grinning charmingly.   
  
"The charm is just oozing out of that man," Lily muttered.  
  
Nadine, however, giggled. "It's in D7," she said, pointing. "You better hurry, they're boarding in fifteen minutes, and you have to get your passport approved and go through the checkpoints. Luckily for you," she said flirtatiously, "This is a slow time of year. Not many people go on holiday in the middle of April. I doubt there will be much of a line." Nadine grinned.   
  
Sirius leaned over the table. "You know," he began, smiling what he knew to be his most drop-dead gorgeous smile, "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."   
  
Remus' eyes popped in disbelief. "Why is he FLIRTING when we need to GO?"   
  
Lily stomped her foot impatiently. "Let's just go."   
  
Peter hoisted his carryon over his shoulder. "Can't. Padfoot dearest has the tickets," he said, rolling his eyes.  
  
"Well screw Sirius!" Lily exclaimed, irritated. "Not literally," she added hastily, seeing James' raised eyebrows.  
  
Sirius walked over, smirking. "I am SO good," he announced.  
  
"Why is that?" Remus asked mildly.   
  
"I just felt like telling you. I got her number."   
  
Lily glared. "Can we GO, now? Considering we have twelve minutes to get through security and all that junk, I really think we should-"  
  
"Actually," Sirius interrupted, "Nadine approved us, and said we could go ahead and board. She just has to stamp our tickets and passports and all that."  
  
The other four stared at him. "Well?" Nadine called out in a friendly voice.  
  
They dashed for the counter.  
  
~  
  
"I can't believe you talked that chick into approving us," Peter said admiringly.   
  
Sirius preened. "I suppose I am just a born genius," he said, shrugging modestly.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes. "Right. And I am Queen of England."  
  
"The who?" James and Sirius chorused.  
  
"No, that's a band," Lily muttered.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Never *mind*!" she and Remus said exasperatedly.  
  
The group was seated on the plane, in the middle aisle, all down from each other. The order was this: Peter, Sirius, James, Lily, Remus. Lily and Remus decided that the two most unlikely to make trouble, at least openly, should sit on the ends, and naturally, Lily wanted to sit next to her boyfriend. And just as naturally, James and Sirius wanted to sit together, and all efforts at persuasion otherwise were in vain.  
  
~~~  
  
To be continued when I have time!   
  
By the way, I'm sure that I have screwed up somehow with the airport thing (and yes, I know that the ticket-person can't really do all that stuff that Nadine did!), so I am really sorry! Yes, I have ridden on a transatlantic flight, but it was like 3 years ago, and I didn't really pay that much attention to the airport, except in London.   
  
Also, i got a comment on another story of mine that said it was basically totally screwy and crap. So I just want to say that when I write humor/parody stories, I don't go for realism, and I really don't care about facts all being straight, because in my mind, if everything's screwed up, it just makes it funnier. Plus cheap humor is always crap. =)  
  
Oh, and I don't know if The Who was around in the 70s, but let's pretend it was. =) 


	3. Eat It All of it

Chapter 3-Eat it. All of it.  
  
"Oy!" Peter yelled as Sirius leaned over him. "What do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Trying to see the television, Bludger-boy," Sirius replied.   
  
"Well, stop leaning over me!" Peter shoved him over. "You are invading my personal bubble."  
  
Remus snorted. "With Sirius, there is no such thing as personal space."  
  
"Are you implying something?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Like what?" Sirius demanded.   
  
"Nothing," Remus said in a sing-songy voice.  
  
"I'll have you know that I am very much attracted to the female sex, book-boy."  
  
"Did I say that you weren't?"  
  
"Boys, boys," Lily cut in. She and James were holding hands rather dreamily. "Let's not fuss."  
  
"Easy for you to say, Miss Dreamy-eyes-Let's-go-snog-Jamie-poo." Peter said.   
  
Everyone was surprised. Generally, Peter didn't make fun of James.   
  
"Whoa-ho-ho, Wormtail. Getting feisty!" Sirius laughed.   
  
"Would you gentlemen -and lady- be desirous of something to eat or drink?" the stewardess asked, showing off all her perfectly white teeth and shapely calves.  
  
Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus all lost control of their jaw and anti-drool muscles. Lily groaned.   
  
But before she could say anything, Sirius said, "Why yes, I'd *love* to have something," he paused, looking her up and down. "To eat, of course," he added, grinning.   
  
The stewardess giggled. The others rolled their eyes, but Peter looked rather admiringly at Sirius.   
  
"what would you like to eat?" she asked flirtatiously.  
  
"How about a danish with some whipped cream?" Sirius said suggestively.  
  
"Oh Lord," Remus muttered.   
  
"I don't get it," Lily whispered.   
  
"You don't want to," James replied.  
  
The stewardess smiled. "Why don't you come back with me and get it?" she said, turning around with a slight wiggle to her hips. Sirius' eyes bulged. He almost flew over the seats after her. The rest of them stared. "I can't believe he's actually going back there," James said in disbelief.   
  
"Me either," said Remus.   
  
"I am now *positive* I do not want to know what was-" Lily was cut off by a smacking sound from further up and a very familiar howl of pain.   
  
"THAT WILL SHOW YOU TO COME ON TO STEWARDESSES, YOU DISGUSTING, FOUL, PERVERSE, HORRIBLE--"  
  
The authors now feel obliged to cut in on the stewardess' tirade, as she got rather foul-mouthed, and wish to assure you that the language then used was, indeed, disgusting, R-rated, and told Sirius to do things that made for very interesting mental images.   
  
Sirius came back with his tail between his legs, figuratively speaking. "I don't want to discuss it," he announced.   
  
"Yes. Well. Oh, look, the movie's coming on! It's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory!" Remus exclaimed. "This is such a cool movie!"  
  
"Are you kidding?" Lily asked incredulously. "Whoever wrote it was *definitely* on LSD."  
  
"What's that?" James asked. Sirius remained sulky, but looked minorly interested.   
  
"A sort of potion that people take to make themselves. . . um. . . happy."   
  
"I am getting the feeling that you are not telling us the whole story," Peter put in.  
  
"Well, I don't want to give you guys ideas!" Lily replied.  
  
They were distracted by the stewardess' return. Sirius shrank. The stewardess, whose name, incidentally, was Samantha, shoved a danish in Sirius' face. "Eat it!" she yelled. "ALL of it!"  
  
~  
  
A few hours later, after all had watched half the movie, decided that whoever wrote it was, indeed, screwed up totally, were falling asleep. "Only about 6 hours left until we get to Nashville," Remus said, yawning.   
  
"Good," Lily said, closing her book. "I think I'm going to go to sleep. It's 11:30."   
  
"Our time," Sirius reminded her. He was surprisingly subdued since the stewardess incident. "Eastern time it's only 6:30. So we'll get there at midnight their time."  
  
"Whatever. I'm still sleepy."  
  
"I am, as well," James agreed.   
  
"I agree with James and Lily," Remus agreed.   
  
"I agree with James and Lily and Remus," Peter agreed.   
  
"And I agree with James and Lily and- oh forget it," Sirius said. "We're all sleepy. End of story."  
  
And with that, the Marauders and Lily all closed their eyes and one by one, fell asleep. 


	4. After Skipping A Lot of Boring Stuff, Th...

Chapter Four-After Skipping A Lot of Boring Stuff, They are in Florida. Woo.  
  
Author's Note: We are skipping the landing in Nashville and Atlanta because we are bored of writing airplane stuff. So, in case you were REALLY looking forward to the Trolley Incident... sorry. It will, of course, be referred to by the members of the little clique, except Remus, because it involved him. Poor thing. The Trolley Incident lives on in infamy, even here in our city of [Nowhere].   
  
Off we go.   
  
~  
  
After the plane landed in the runway in Orlando, the Marauders and Lily all had to wait what Sirius insisted was hours and hours, but it was really only fifteen minutes.   
  
"Liiiiiiiiillllllllllyyyyyy...." Sirius whined. "Make them let us off. I'm sooooo tired of planes!"  
  
"Yeah!" Peter rejoined, looking up from his portable wizard's chess, with Special Gravitational Charms, courtesy of Lily Evans.  
  
Remus was quiet. It had been a mere three hours since The Trolley Incident. He was utterly scarred for life, and embarrassed still beyond reason. Not to mention that James-  
  
"Hey Moony, wanna ride a trolley?" James yelled, loud enough for the whole plane to hear. Half the passengers snickered. The Incident was infamous. Remus sank as low as he could without breaking his neck.   
  
"Die, James. Die."  
  
"Remus is getting feisty, isn't he," Sirius remarked casually.   
  
"Come on, guys. Let's leave Remus alone," Lily stepped in. The guys snickered.   
  
"Attention, passengers: You may now step off the plane. Please leave in an orderly fashion. Thank you for flying with us today."  
  
Remus sat until everyone except he and the Marauders was off the plane. "Remus, come on," Lily pleaded. "No one will recognize --"  
  
Suddenly Sirius bolted upright. "Of course! The hat!"  
  
Everyone stared. "Sirius," James said tiredly, "What in the name of Hogwarts are you talking about?"  
  
"We shall DISGUISE REMUS!" Sirius announced. "James, give me your hat."  
  
"what? No!"   
  
"What is more important to you, James? A stupid hat- or helping one of your best friends go unrecognized in a completely, utterly humiliating situation?" Sirius asked... well, seriously.  
  
"Yeah, James," Remus said hopefully. "What's more important?"  
  
James sighed. "I hate it when you gang up on me and appeal to my noble hero side. Fine. You can have to stupid hat. I have others, anyway."  
  
"Thanks, man." Remus jammed the hat on his head. "Lily, give me your sunglasses. Sirius... give me..."  
  
"My sexiness? My charm? My wiles with the ladies?"  
  
"Right, just like the stewardess."  
  
"Shut up, you-"  
  
"Alright, alright," Lily cut in hastily. "Sirius, why don't you give him your leather jacket? The one that is your carryon?"  
  
Sirius gasped. "My-my jacket? My precious, beautiful, warm, perfect. . . JACKET?"  
  
"What's more important to you, a stupid jacket- or helping out your friend?" James said with a nasty tone.   
  
"My jacket is NOT STUPID! It is. . . precious to me," Sirius said dramatically.  
  
"Plagiarist," Remus intoned. "Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring, when Gandalf is reading that thing from Aragorn's ancestor. The kingy guy. of Gondor."  
  
"Thank you, Mr. Technical," Peter replied, rolling his eyes. "Let's go. Just give him the stupid jacket, Padfoot."  
  
"Fine. But don't keep it any longer than you absolutely have to."  
  
"Oh, I won't." Remus sniffed the jacket. "Hey. . . this smells like Andrea Bones's per-"  
  
"Let's not discuss it," Sirius cut in. "There is a perfectly reasonable explanation, and I will tell you when Lily is not here."  
  
Peter gasped in horror. "Andrea BONES? That slut? Tell me you haven't sunk that low, Sirius!"  
  
"NO, Peter. If you had LISTENED, you would have heard me say that there is a perfectly reas-"  
  
"Can you gentlemen please get off the plane, now?" the stewardess interrupted.  
  
"Yeah, really, Sirius, you were the one whining to leave," Remus jeered.   
  
"shut up, Remus."  
  
"Remus? Remus Lupin?" the stewardess inquired. "The trolley guy?"  
  
"No. Let's go."  
  
And they hurried out, Remus pushing them the whole way. 


	5. The New Names Are Given

Authors' Note: We have gotten a few requests as to what The Trolley Incident pertains to. Well, we'd like to tell you, but we feel Remus has been shamed enough already. We will give you three hints: It involved a trolley, a large middle-aged woman, and her poorly clasped suitcase full of... Well, Remus says that's enough, so we'll leave it to your imagination. If you want to guess what happened, feel free to leave your speculations in the reviews!   
  
We still don't own Harry Potter. Or Remus Lupin, sadly. Speaking of Lupin, who else is completely convinced that the actor chosen to play him is TOTALLY WRONG AND EVIL?? He is NOT Lupin at ALL. Argh.   
  
Alright, on with the story. They have checked into their hotel, and the guys are sharing one room, and Lily is next door, much to James' dismay.  
  
~  
  
"I can't believe they put you in a different room than me," James pouted. "It's not like we'd do anything. . . questionable."  
  
"I know we wouldn't," Lily said sharply, "because you know how I feel about that issue. But apparently Petunia indoctrinated Mum and Dad with her philosophy that any male and female left together would-"  
  
"Ravish each other every night 'til dawn?" Sirius cut in.   
  
"Yeah."  
  
"So your parents called up, transatlantic, just to make sure you and James wouldn't get a room together?" Peter laughed. "Sucks to be you."  
  
"Shut up, you ra-weas-jerk," James stuttered. He had become friendly with Arthur Weasley over the summer when he began to look seriously into working with the Ministry.  
  
"Hey, guys, let's go into Disney World," Remus said, carrying an armload of pamphlets. "They just built this new ride called Space Mountain. It's supposed to be a roller coaster in the dark. We should be some of the first to ride it."  
  
Sirius slapped the pamphlets out of Remus' arms. Unfortunately, they were the hall, and there were an awful lot of pamphlets.  
  
"Sirius, you git, look what you did!"   
  
"Me? You're the one being a pansy!"  
  
"A pansy? A *pansy*?"  
  
"Yeah!"   
  
"I am not!"   
  
"Ooh, mummy, let's go ride the ickle baby twain? Pwease mummy? Siwius wants to come too!" Sirius mocked.  
  
"I was three years old!"  
  
"Seven!"  
  
"three!"  
  
"SEVEN!"  
  
"All right, maybe I was five, but even so, I was young! And you *did* want to ride the train!"  
  
"I SO did not."  
  
"AAAAAAA!" Peter yelped. "CURSES! THE FOULEST AND MOST HORRIBLE CURSES!"   
  
"Wormtail? What the Snape are you doing?" James demanded.  
  
"There's a gummiworm! In my-"   
  
"Okay, okay, okay!" Lily squealed. "Too much information!"  
  
Sirius snickered.   
  
"Fantasizing, Padfoot?"   
  
Sirius stopped snickering and swung at Remus.   
  
"Hey!"  
  
Before they got in a full-fledged fistfight, James stepped in. "okay. First of all, Lily, the gummiworm was in his SHOE, not. . . other places. Second, Remus cut it out with the teasing, or else I shall bring up The Trolley Incident. Third, Sirius, stop having such a dirty mind."  
  
"Fourth, James stop being an insufferable prat."  
  
"Fifth," cut in an unfamiliar voice, "You are disturbing other families who are visiting, and sixth, you are making a mess of our hotel." The boys and Lily slowly faced the hotel manager. He smiled pleasantly, if somewhat forced. "Please pick up your litter, and go out for the day. And also, please remember that we have young children in this hotel whose minds have not yet been perverted."  
  
"Yes sir," the twentysomethings all muttered.  
  
~  
  
"Well, that was awkward," Sirius remarked cheerfully once they had gotten outside.  
  
"No kidding," Remus replied.   
  
They walked a little bit, following the map, when Sirius said excitedly, "All right, guys, this is it. When we turn this corner, we shall see. . . The Castle of Disney World. That infamous, glorious, beloved, cherished-"  
  
"Okay, okay," Peter said. "Let's just go."  
  
"But wait!"  
  
"WHAT?" they all said to Sirius exasperatedly.  
  
"Since we are in a new land, full of mystery and wonder, we must give ourselves new names. Remus, I christen you. . . Kodac."  
  
"KODAC?!"  
  
"Shh. James, I christen you Dippy. Peter," Sirius continued loudly over the wails of malcontent and the snickers on Lily and Peter's part, "I christen you Elmer."  
  
"ELMER. You are going to call me. . . Elmer." Peter smacked his forehead in disbelief. "I must be dreaming."  
  
"Lily, you are now to be Suki."  
  
Lily stood in silence. "I cannot believe this," she thought.   
  
"But wait," Remus said, "What about *your* name?"  
  
"My name?" Sirius asked in confusion.  
  
"Yes," James said evilly. "Your name."  
  
"I think. . ." Lily said slowly, "I think the name, Skippy sounds about right."  
  
"Skippy?" All color drained from Sirius' face. "No. Not. . . not *SKIPPY*!"  
  
"Yes!" they all shouted.   
  
"I never should have given them their names," Sirius murmured in deep, deep bitterness.  
  
**  
  
To be continued soon. Coming up: Their reactions to the castle. Believe me, you don't want to miss this!  
  
Also, the reasoning for the names will given soon. We promise. Now, send in those trolley speculations! 


	6. And Finally, the Castle!

A/N: These are the NEW and COOL(snort) names of MWPP/L.  
  
James-Dippy  
  
Remus-Kodac  
  
Lily-Suki  
  
Peter-Elmer  
  
Sirius-Skippy  
  
Remember them! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! HA. Ahem.  
  
Disclaimer: We do not(and will never) own Harry Potter peoples, places, universe, etc. If we did we would be writing Harry Potter book 6 and not writing fanfiction. So there. We also do not own Disney stuff. If we did we would have enough money to own this website, which, unfortunately, we don't. Yes, anyway.  
  
Now the newest chapter. . .  
  
But wait! Sirius says "Hi." Never shuts up, that one.  
  
Sorry about the above, my sister grabbed the computer and with a malicious grin and cackle, wrote the above. But it is probably funnier than anything I would have come up with, so I'll leave it. Oh, and she's right, Sirius never does shut up.   
  
Chapter Six. For real, this time.   
  
~  
  
"Come on, Sirius!" James yelled merrily, as the rest of gang ran up ahead. "I mean... SKIPPY!" he cackled.   
  
Sirius perked up as he realized that THE CASTLE was up ahead.   
  
They turned the corner.  
  
There stood the castle.   
  
Skippy, Dippy, Kodac, Elmer, and Suki stood dumbfounded and/or flabbergasted.   
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sirius wailed. he fell to his knees, earning many a stare from passing parents and children. He sobbed.   
  
James held Lily as she buried her face in his shoulder, saying "Tell me that isn't the. . . infamous. . . glorious. . . beautiful . . . Disney World Castle?!"  
  
"I'm afraid it is," James said solemnly.   
  
Peter only stared in wonderment that castles so small were legal, even in this exotic States his mother spoke so forbiddingly and disapprovingly of.   
  
Remus was silent. Then he began to laugh. Soon he became hysterical. He fell to ground, laughing so hard he was crying, causing many of the visitors to cross to the other side of the street, warning their children to stay away from strange men.  
  
"what are you laughing at Moon-Rem-Kodac?" Sirius spat out.  
  
"The castle- it really is quite small- isn't it?" he gasped.   
  
Peter stifled a laugh. Lily had to bite her lip to keep from giggling. Now that Remus had said it aloud, it did seem funny. James grinned. Finally, Sirius looked up with a laugh. That was all they needed to burst into peals of laughter.   
  
"Come on," Sirius gasped. "Let's go to Disney World."  
  
~  
  
Coming soon: Splash Mountain, Space Mountain, and the Peter Pan Ride!  
  
Oh, and guess what? Our mom told us only mere days ago that we would be visiting DisneyWorld next summer! Isn't that funny? We got a promotional video in the mail, because we've been there twice, but we watched it anyway to reminisce, and saw that they've added a TON of stuff, and we finally noticed cool stuff that was already there that we never had patience for when we were younger. So now we have decided to go this summer. My last summer as a kid. Sniff. Then I will be a senior and eighteen and an. . . adult. So I must enjoy this coming summer. Alright, well, considering it's not even october yet, I think I may be overreacting.   
  
By the way, sorry for capitalization messups, this keyboard is crap. I will be writing the next chapter on a different computer with a decent keyboard. 


	7. Splash Mountain AdventuresLord Help Them...

AN: Wow. That last one was pretty short wasn't it? What a copout on my part. I feel like slapping myself, but those muscles are tired. Well, here's this chapter, not planned out in the least, writing purely on the remains of a Vanilla Coke drunk over an hour ago, and with the aid of the Freaky Friday soundtrack. Oh, and my sister. Who just mooed.   
  
Oh, and no offense to Alabamans. My own relatives are from Alabama. I love Alabama like it was me own 'omeland! The motherland! I love the Alabamans too! I love em, I tell ya!  
  
CHAPTER SEVEN  
  
"Can we forget the names?" James asked.   
  
"For now," Sirius replied. "Except for Remus'. It is psychedelic."  
  
"What exactly does psychedelic mean?" Peter asked as Remus began to complain loudly.   
  
"Um. . . Don't ask me questions, fool!" Sirius replied  
  
"Sorry, I just-" Peter began  
  
"Look, Splash Mountain!" Sirius exclaimed, "AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!"   
  
"What was that for?" Lily asked.  
  
"Never mind! Let us go!" Sirius yelled grandly.  
  
He took off running into a young woman in her twenties. "Sorry, miss, I'm trying to get to Splash Mountain."  
  
"Good Lord! He's not even flirting!" James said, awestruck.  
  
"This IS a magical place," Peter said wonderingly.  
  
"Well, this is the line, bub," the woman replied.   
  
"Line?" Sirius asked confusedly. "What line?"  
  
"You know... LINE! Like, what you stand in before getting somewhere you want to go?" the woman said as if Sirius was stupid.   
  
"Oh, like a queue?"   
  
"No, that would be a letter of the alphabet. You foreign?"  
  
"Can't you *tell* by the way I am *speaking* in a British accent?" Sirius said condescendingly.  
  
Remus The Diplomat stepped in before things got nasty. "Excuse him, miss, we're from England and we call lines queues."  
  
"Hey, I'm from Wales!" Peter said indignantly.   
  
"And I'm from Ireland!" Lily added. "What? I was born there. We just moved when I was little," she said to James' stare.   
  
"O-kay," Remus said overpatiently. "We are from the British Isles."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"Where are you from?" Peter asked politely.   
  
"I'm from Alabama." Except, she said it 'Allerbammer.'  
  
"Where is this. . . Allerbammer land?" Sirius asked, genuinely curious, as he had never heard of such a place.   
  
"Below Tennersee and next to Jawjuh."  
  
"Where's Jawjuh?"  
  
"How do you spell that?" Peter asked over James.  
  
"Emm... G-E-O-R-G-I-A."   
  
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs and Lily all stared at this woman from the mystical land of Allerbammer.   
  
Suddenly, a light dawned on Remus' face. "You mean, Georgia!"   
  
"That's what I said, dummy," she replied haughtily.   
  
"And you're from Alabama!" Lily exclaimed, catching on.   
  
"Duh."  
  
Suddenly, a man wearing all teal clothing ran up to Sirius, grabbed Sirius's nose between his fingers and yelled "Gotcher conk!" Then he ran away, cackling.  
  
They stood there, silent.  
  
"I like that color," Remus said after a moment.   
  
"What?"  
  
"Of his clothes," he clarified.   
  
Sirius rubbed his nose. "Whew. It's still there."  
  
"Sorry about him," the woman said casually. "I like that color too."   
  
"Do you. . . know that person?" James asked, horrorstruck.  
  
"Yep. He's my cousin-uncle. From Tennersee."  
  
"Cousin-unc--*oh!*" Peter said, more horrorstricken than James.   
  
"What is your name?" Lily asked, trying to get past that uncomfortable topic.   
  
"Millie. Clampton," she added.   
  
During this time, the line had been moving slowly. At last, it was their turn. Then they realized there were SIX seats. And five of them. That left one seat open. Millie was chosen to ride with them.   
  
"What a lovely name," Remus said as they strapped in. He was sitting next to her, in front of Lily and Peter and behind James and Sirius.  
  
"Thanks. So what are your names?" she asked over the the annoying noise of disturbing moving animals that did not look remotely realistic.   
  
"I'll introduce us all!" said Sirius excitedly. Remus groaned. "This is Jamie, I am Sirius, she is Lily, he is Peter, and the 'man' you are sitting next to is Re-err" Sirius hacked for a moment. "He is Kodac!" Remus' eyes bulged.   
  
"Kodak? Like the-" she acted like she was clicking a camera.   
  
"Are you having a seizure?" Sirius asked, panicking. "I don't do CPR!"   
  
"Seizure? What are you on, weed?" Millie asked rudely.  
  
"No, my name is Sirius," he reminded her gently.   
  
"I meant- oh never mind."   
  
"My name, by the way, is Remus. Not. . ." he choked slightly, "Kodac." He shivered.   
  
Suddenly, the looming drop appeared in front of them. "THIS IS IT GUYS!" Sirius yelled. "WAHOO- What?"  
  
"Why are we stopping?" Peter asked.  
  
They were located at the very top of the Mountain of Splash. They were stopped. And angered.   
  
"We're not SPLASHING!" James yelled, irritated. Sirius leaned over the side and fell out. They heard a "AAAAAAAAA! HELLLLLLLLLLLLP MEEEEEEE!" James tried to grab Sirius as he fell, but it is always easier to drag down others than to pull them up. In other words, James joined Sirius' swimming party.   
  
Everyone screamed. Except for Peter, whose eyes glazed over and he cackled a bit. Then he shook himself and screamed as well. Millie grabbed Remus' shirt and screamed in his ear, "THEY FELL OUT! AAAAAAAAA!"   
  
"I realize that," Remus said, wincing slightly. They heard a big SPLOOSH! and Lily said weakly, "Well, they splashed now."   
  
They strained to see what was going on at the bottom of the ride. James and Sirius were being fished out by Disney workers.   
  
A few minutes later, the ride began working again, and the rest all Splashed. But not SPLOOSH!ed. Which was okay with them.   
  
~  
  
Later, Space Mountain. Or the Peter Pan ride. Whatever I feel like writing. Hey, visit this site: http://www.eviltrailmix.com/extra/Potter.swf  
  
It's great. Not mine, but great. 


	8. Mickey, Peter Pan, and Evil People

AN: We are writing this right after finishing the previous chapter. Because we are bored and still hyper.   
  
Ahh. Vanilla Coke. Life-giver. :)  
  
Anyway, so here it is. Chapter Eight. We still do not own Harry Potter, its characters, JK Rowling, Disney, Mickey, or anything else except Millie. We do own Millie. We wish we owned Remus. Alas. Oh, and we don't own anything in the last chapter either. We wrote it. The End.   
  
Oh, and please review. They make us write faster. Chapter before last we only got a couple of reviews, and that's why these took so long. Anyway. Padfoot Hoshi rocks! Expect a. . . surprise in this chapter. Cackle.  
  
CHAPTER EIGHT  
  
A few minutes later, after the ride was over, Lily, Peter, Remus and Millie all walked out after getting their picture. Peter kept hitting it, trying to make them move, while Millie stared at him. They soon met up with a very wet Sirius and James. "Boy," Sirius remarked, "these Disney folk are sensitive about how to ride their rides."   
  
"Are you okay, sweetie-diddy-cutchie-wootchie-poochie-poo?" Lily asked James concernedly, while the guys snickered and snorted in Sirius' case.   
  
James blushed, but said, "Yes, skootchy-woochy-cupcake-muffy."   
  
The guys all made gagging faces and Remus pretended to throw up.   
  
"Let's go to the Peter Pan ride!" Sirius yelled, running in between James and Lily.   
  
"Okay!" They all followed, until they ran right smack into Mickey Mouse.  
  
"Oh! Sorry Mister Mouse!" Sirius exclaimed, awestruck.   
  
"BLACK!" Mickey growled. "POTTER! LUPIN! EVANS! PETTIGREW!"  
  
"This is creepy," James whispered.   
  
"Back away from the mouse," Lily whispered back.  
  
"DON'T MOVE!!!!!"   
  
"Okay."  
  
"Wait. . ." Sirius said slowly. "I recognize that evil greasy growl."  
  
"Greasy-NO!" James said, shocked.   
  
"It can't be," Remus added.   
  
"SNAPE!" they all yelled, ripping off his head. The Mickey Mouse head, that is.  
  
Children screamed. Grown-ups covered up their children's eyes while they stared.   
  
Sure enough, there was an evil, greasy, growling person under the Mickey Mouse exterior. "You foul creatures," Snape spat.   
  
Minnie ran over, arms outstretched. "Back away woman!" Snape shouted. "I cannot deal with this!" With that, he slammed his head on and stomped away.   
  
Minnie trailed after him, calling "Mickey! Wait!"  
  
"That was. . . disturbing," James remarked.  
  
"Grrrrrr. . ." Sirius growled. One could almost see his hackles rising.   
  
"Hey, I got pictures," Millie said.  
  
She was almost deafened with the demands of copies.   
  
~~~  
  
Later, when they finally got to the Peter Pan ride, Sirius regarding every costumed character was suspicion and anger, they saw The Man In The Teal Suit.   
  
"Oh God! Hide me!" Sirius prayed. He clapped a hand over his nose, smacking himself in the face.  
  
"Sirius, stop with the masochism," Remus said mildly.   
  
"AAAA! Big words! Bad! Bad!" Sirius cried. Literally. Like, tears.   
  
They stood in a line for a couple of hours, making idle conversation with each other and Millie, when suddenly Sirius shouted, "HEY!" Half the heads turned. "Sorry, wasn't talking to you guys," Sirius apologized. He turned back to the group. "Peter!"   
  
"I didn't do it, I swear!" Peter said, with an overly innocent look. It was a reflex.  
  
"Save it for McGonagall. Anyway, I just realized, your name is Peter!"   
  
"Good job, Sirius!" Remus cut him off.  
  
"Shut up, prat. What I MEANT, was that his name is Peter, and so is HIS name!" Sirius said gleefully, pointing to a picture of Peter Pan and Tinkerbell. "And your initials are even the same!"   
  
"Very good, Sirius!" James said in a falsely perky voice.   
  
Suddenly, The Man In The Teal Suit ran over to them. He grabbed James' nose and yelled "Gotcher nose!" He ran off, cackling.   
  
"Sorry about him," Millie said casually. "Cousin Uncle Adam has a penchant for doing that to strangers."   
  
"Is he, uh, okay up in the attic?"  
  
"Huh? Our attic is perfectly clean, thank you," Millie replied, miffed.   
  
"No no," Peter stepped in. "Lily meant, is he crazy?"  
  
"Well, duh. Would *you* call a man who ran around grabbing strangers' noses sane?" Millie shot back.   
  
"Hey, it's our turn for the ride!" Remus pointed out. He climbed in, and Millie shot over to his side. James and Lily got in the next one, and finally Sirius and Peter.   
  
As they flew over "London", Sirius yelled, "Hey, this is just like MAGIC!"   
  
~~  
  
End of Chapter Eight.  
  
Soon: Space Mountain, fireworks, Millie's "secret" love, confessions, and more! Just call the number on the bottom of your screen and. . . oops wrong sales pitch. 


	9. Getting Ready for the Obligatory Firewor...

AN: Thank you reviewers! =)  
  
Oh, and SiriusLover13? Perhaps you should pay more attention to certain disclaimers. And, as a matter of fact, I have in fact heard people from Alabama call their home state Allerbammer. I thought it was mildly funny, and chose to make it a part of my fic.   
  
Not to be rude or anything, but if you attack me in my reviews, I will correct you at the beginning of my new chapters, and therefore PO everyone as they surely want to read my new chapter rather than my rebukes of people who can't be bothered to read disclaimers, hmmmm?  
  
~~  
  
Chapter Nine-The Obligatory Fireworks Date  
  
~  
  
"Well, that was exhilarating," Sirius announced as he climbed off the Peter Pan ride.   
  
"Kind of made me feel homesick for a moment," James said. Everyone stared at him. "Uh, just kidding! Ha, ha. Who could ever miss a place like London, eh?" Then he kind of slunk into the background while Lily patted his arm.  
  
"Anyway," Remus said, changing the subject, "there's a fireworks parade tonight. Are we going?"   
  
"We are," Lily said, looking lovingly at James.   
  
"Well. . ." Millie said, trying not to look in Remus' direction, "I was kind of wanting to go, but I don't want to be a third wheel or anything. I'm just here with my cousin-uncle and his wife-cousin."  
  
James and Lily looked at Sirius, Remus, and Peter with wide-eyed, panicked expressions.   
  
"Remus'll go!" Sirius said, pushing Remus to Millie.   
  
"Wha-"  
  
"Yeah!" Peter exclaimed, catching on. "He loves. . . fireworks. Dontcha Remus?"   
  
"Wow, you actually said something that might have a double-entendre," Sirius said, impressed. "Nice, Pete."  
  
"But I, well, that is, I, uh. . ." The light bulb clicked on. "I wanted to do some reading tonight! You know, read up on the, erm, history of DisneyWorld, and all its attractions, and -"   
  
"And one of them is the Fireworks Parade!" Lily jumped in. "And you get to experience it, Remus!"  
  
"Don't be such a stick in the mud," James agreed. "Let's all meet tonight to watch the parade. All four of us."  
  
"Yeah, all- wait, four of us?" Sirius gasped, counting everyone. "But there's six!"  
  
"Well, unless you and Peter want to go together-" Remus snickered as Sirius and Peter immediately sprang to opposite sides of the group.   
  
"So what are me and Sirius supposed to do then?" Peter whined.   
  
"Well, you could always stay in the hotel room," James smiled wickedly. Then he looked at the girls. "Well, ladies, let's go freshen up, and then meet back here at, oh, six." Then, as they walked up to their respective rooms, James pulled Lily aside. "We'll get 'lost' five minutes after the parade starts."   
  
"Okay, love." They kissed and parted.   
  
After the boys entered their room and had shut the door, Remus exploded. "What the bloody *hell* do you think you are doing, Sirius!"  
  
Sirius gasped. "Remus. . . you swore."  
  
"You better damn well believe it! I do not want that. . . personage getting some silly notion into her head that I love her and want to go on fireworks dates with her! And I most certainly do NOT like the fireworks you were insinuating, Peter!" he glared. Then as James began to snicker, Remus realized his mistake. "Well, that is, not with her. That is to say, I'm not very experienced in that matter, but I definitely do not want to become - Oh, WHY couldn't you have set me up with someone beautiful and intelligent?" Remus wailed, throwing his hands in the air and flinging himself on the bed.   
  
"Because no such woman exists, mate," Sirius said cheerfully. "Hate to break it to you."  
  
"Lily is beautiful and intelligent!" James said.   
  
"Love is blind."  
  
James' jaw dropped. Then he attacked Sirius, and a wrestling match ensued, James winning when Sirius admitted his joke was cruel and evil. "I am going to shower," James announced, walking into the lavatory.  
  
"Have fun!" Sirius yelled, bitter at his loss.  
  
"MEANWHILE," Remus cut in, "back to me. What am I going to do about Millie?"  
  
"Dress up, wear my cologne, transfigure yourself into me and try to act sexy. Or pay me a scandalous amount of money and I'll give you some of my hair and you can make a Polyjuice Potion," Sirius said.  
  
"I suppose that would scare her off," Remus said thoughtfully. "No, it wouldn't work. Polyjuice takes over a month to make."  
  
"Ha, ha. So you want to scare her off, eh?"  
  
"Of course I want to scare her off, Padfoot, you idiot! I do not like this woman at all!"   
  
"All right. Let's think." Sirius sat in deep thought.   
  
They thought.   
  
And thought.   
  
Eventually, Peter became hungry and wandered off.   
  
Twenty minutes later, James was still singing in the shower.   
  
"I got nothing," Sirius said.   
  
"Me either."  
  
They sighed. "Maybe if you just be yourself," Sirius said in his trying-to-be-profound voice, "that will scare her away."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Like your werewolf self."  
  
"Oh nice," Remus said sarcastically. "Yeah, I'll just randomly make myself turn into a great hairy beast that eats all human flesh in its path, and by the way it is very painful to turn into, just for the sake of scaring away one girl? Right. Why did I think of that?"  
  
"Well, it sounds dumb when *you* say it!" Sirius said defensively.   
  
"Maybe because it IS dumb!"  
  
"Is not."  
  
"Is so."  
  
"Not."  
  
"So."  
  
"Hey, guys!" Peter said, walking in on their almost fight. "Listen to this!" He held up a Popsicle stick and began to read. "'What did the artist name his son?'"  
  
"Picasso," Sirius said, annoyed.  
  
"No! 'Art'! Hahaha!" Peter began to laugh.   
  
Remus and Sirius just stared at him until he quieted. "That was dumb, wasn't it?"   
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What about this one," Peter said, pulling out another stick. "'What did the hungry computer say?'"  
  
"Bite me!" Sirius yelled, irritated even more.  
  
"Close. 'Give me a byte'!"   
  
Sirius' eye twitched.  
  
"Right." Remus banged on the bathroom door. "Hurry up, other wizards have to take a shower too, you know!"  
  
"I'll be out in a minute!"  
  
"And for the love of Hogwarts, STOP SINGING 'SPELL ON MY HEART!'" Sirius bellowed as James began to sing again. 


	10. The Fireworks DatePart the First

AN: Oopsie. The phrase "Spell On My Heart" belongs to She's a Star. And remember: Jumper in England = Sweater in America. That is all.  
  
~  
  
Chapter Ten-The Actual Date  
  
About twenty minutes later, James was dressed and was valiantly fighting his hair to make it lie flat. Remus was shaking his hair out, not unlike a dog, and pulling on his jeans. "I hate going on dates," Remus grumbled as he pulled on a jumper. "Why couldn't we just meet in a nice coffeehouse somewhere, and discuss books, literature, politics, and history? Why does it have to always be some sort of commercialized, evil thing where there is too much noise to discuss anything?"  
  
"Well, generally because normal people are more interested in snogging their dates within an inch of their life than talking about books," James said, yanking a comb through his hair.   
  
"Besides," Sirius said, eyeing Remus' attire, "don't you think a jumper might be a bit heavy for-"  
  
"No. It's April. A bit nippy at night, isn't it?"  
  
"In England, yes, but not in Florida," Peter piped up. "Didn't you feel the humidty today?"  
  
"Don't be stupid. It will be cool," Remus said firmly, feeling that there had to be at least one aspect of his life that he, not his friends, could control.  
  
"At least wear a T-shirt underneath so that when we are right, you will have the option of taking off the jumper."  
  
"NO, DARN IT! I WILL HAVE SOME SEMBLANCE OF CONTROL OVER MY LIFE!" Remus shouted.  
  
Sirius coughed, "Control freak!"  
  
Remus glared. And Remus' glares are pretty life-threatening, you know.  
  
"Anyway, it's almost six," James said, glancing at the clock. "Probably we should head on down."  
  
"Very well," Remus said stiffly.   
  
"Want some cologne, Moony?" Sirius offered angelically.  
  
"Die."  
  
"Okay. Sorry about the control-"  
  
"SHUT UP!"  
  
"Okay, then."  
  
Remus and James left, closing the door loudly, but not quite slamming it, behind them.   
  
"Well, Sirius, old buddy, looks like it's just me and you," Peter said cheerfully, throwing his arm around Sirius' shoulders.  
  
"Okay, no," he replied, throwing Peter's arm off. "I say we give them fifteen minutes head start, and then we follow them."  
  
"What?"  
  
Sirius sighed deeply. "Okay, Peter, in fifteen minutes, we leave. Then-"  
  
"No, I understand that, dummy, I just meant that Remus is nervous enough already, why bother him more?"   
  
Sirius' eyes widened in shock. "Obviously, my teachings have not sunk in, my young apprentice. We must torture! Maim! Kill! Most of all. . . Bother!"  
  
"Sometimes you really scare me, Padfoot."  
  
"Good," Sirius said, rubbing his chin with his special All-Knowing Look. "Here's The Plan."  
  
~  
  
Meanwhile, as we backtrack a bit and follow Remus and James out the door, Remus was growling quietly, and tugging at his jumper.   
  
"Moony, relax. She's just a girl. Nothing to worry about."  
  
"I am not worried about some silly girl from Alabama!" Remus snapped. "And besides, I will never see her again, so why would I care about some chick that I will never see again? And she's -"  
  
"Okay, okay, I get the point. And since when do you say 'chick'?"   
  
"Since I am extremely stressed and angry at my so-called friends who set me up with a ridiculous woman!"   
  
James sighed. "Lighten up. Don't be a jerk to Millie, she's just an innocent standby."  
  
"Of course I'm not going to be a jerk to her!" Remus hissed. "I am just making absolutely plain to all of you exactly how pissed off I am!"   
  
"It is plain, Moony."   
  
"Good."  
  
They walked in silence until they got to the lobby. There was Lily, looking like a gorgeous specimen of femininity, smiling gently. And then there was Millie. Now, Millie wasn't an ugly creature, by any means, but she wasn't exactly pretty. She was wearing what Remus supposed was a perfectly acceptable outfit, but. . . Well, Millie was a girl who looked best in jeans and T-shirts. Millie looked somewhat ridiculous wearing a skirt and peasant top, and she looked like she felt ridiculous. Remus swallowed his pride, and went over to her, holding out his arm in a gentlemanlike manner. "Hello, Millie," Remus said in what he hoped was a kind and pleasant voice.   
  
Apparently it was, because Millie smiled foolishly and said, "Hello there, Remus."   
  
Evidently, Remus thought, her nervousness comes out in the form of a broad Southern accent. But he put away his uncharitable thought and smiled.  
  
~  
  
As Remus and Millie walked ahead of Lily and James toward Main Street, where the parade was going to pass through, they made rather awkward conversation and then walked in silence, trying desperately to ignore Lily's and-to Remus' amused disgust-James's lovesick giggles. Remus was a fairly observant person, and he was not oblivious to the way Millie glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and tried to "accidentally" brush his hand as they walked. (Remus had soon stopped 'escorting' Millie around, as they got strange looks from people, which, although not unfamiliar, was certainly uncomfortable in this situation.) Remus, in a last-ditch attempt to start up a conversation, asked, "So. . . do you read much?"  
  
"A little bit, not a whole lot. I'd rather watch TV. Reading strains my eyes."  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry. Um, so who is TV?" Remus thought perhaps he was a Muggle singer or actor. He vaguely remembered something about TV being said in Muggle Studies.  
  
Millie stared at him. Oh, crap, Remus realized. "Tee-vee," Millie sounded out slowly. "Television."   
  
Remus thought wildly for something to cover his rear end. "Oh, oh yes, of course, in- in England we refer to it as, erm, the telly! So, erm, you know, I was slightly thrown off." Remus began to sweat a bit. Darned jumper. It was a bit hot.  
  
~  
  
By the time the parade started, Remus was absolutely on the point of being sweat-soaked. He was flushed, red, and hot, and somewhere along the way, Lily and James had disappeared, and he had an uncomfortable feeling he was being watched, and not just by Millie, who seemed to think he was nervous over her. He had an extremely unnerving feeling that he would occupy her, ah, more questionable fantasies for months to come after this damnable week. Remus inwardly cursed Sirius, Millie, James, Lily, the day he was born, Florida, jumpers, and the whole bloody United States of bloody America. He had hit rock bottom.   
  
Millie leaned over practically on his lap, and said, staring adoringly into his eyes, "It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" Her face edged ever closer to his.   
  
Now, he thought, rock bottom has just hit me.  
  
~~~  
  
End Chapter Ten!   
  
Will Millie kiss Remus? What happened to James and Lily? Why does Remus feel he's being watched? Is he? What is Sirius Black up to? Review!  
  
Oh, and by the way, the "Now, rock bottom has just hit me," was borrowed from "Draco, the Amazing, Bouncing. . . RAT?!" by Maya at fictionalley.org in the Schnoogle section. Read it. Laugh. Repeat. 


	11. The Fireworks Date Part the Second

Author's Note: All right, obviously the Alabamans are only reading the seventh chapter and they choose to remain anonymous so that there's no way I can contact them to set them straight. As a reminder, I have family in AL, and I am basing this on someone I met once, and most of all... I AM A SOUTHERNER! I am poking fun at my own culture, you know! Argh. Anyway, if you leave anonymous comments, I shall delete them. But I am philosophical; after all, if you don't get a few flames, it means you aren't making an impact.  
  
CHAPTER ELEVEN-- THE KISS   
  
Millie leaned ever closer, and Remus stared, in wide-eyed shock. Sirius tried to stifle a giggle. Peter was squinting, trying to see what was going on. "Curse my dependence on eye-charms," he muttered.  
  
"Shut up, Wormtail!" Sirius hissed.   
  
Meanwhile, Remus was beginning to panic. "Millie!" he exclaimed in a rather panicky voice. Panicking.  
  
"Yes?" she asked sweetly.  
  
"Erm, what are you doing?"   
  
"Why, I am merely expressing my love for you," she replied, blinking rather often.   
  
"Well, I am very, um, honored. But!" Remus added quickly, "But, I'm afraid that I do not reciprocate those feelings."   
  
"Wh-what?"  
  
"Reciprocate. It means--"  
  
"I know what reciprocate means, you idiot!" Millie snapped. In the bushes nearby, Sirius stifled a laugh. Above, Tinkerbell flew by, distracting Sirius effectively.  
  
"Oh. Well, erm--"   
  
Remus was cut off by a tall, dark, and fairly handsome, he supposed, man. "Millicent!" the man cried.  
  
His clothes were cut remarkably like the Armani suit worn by some guy in one of Lily's fashion magazines. Not, mind you, that Remus was looking.   
  
Millie turned up her nose at the man. "Rhett," she said in a dignified voice, "I do not care to speak to you."   
  
"Oh, Millicent!" he cried.   
  
Remus looked curiously from one person to the other. "May I ask a question here?" he asked politely.   
  
"Whatever," Rhett said distractedly, kissing Millie's hand.   
  
"Who are you?"   
  
Rhett started to answer and then his eyes turned red. "Who am I?" he repeated dreamily. "I am no one. No one, that is, without the love of my life that is the fair, beautiful, charmingly-voiced Millicent!" He sniffled. "Who are you?"   
  
"Er..."  
  
"He is my new love!" Millie said rudely. "And although he does not reciprocate my feelings, they do not change!" She flung her arms around Remus, who really wished he'd stayed in England, where he belonged.   
  
"Curse my dependence on eye-charms!" Peter exclaimed again, with more sincerity. He pointed his wand at his face and promptly gave himself pinkeye.  
  
"Shhhh!" Sirius hissed.  
  
~  
  
Meanwhile, James and Lily having the time of their lives watching the fireworks. No, not the fireworks over at Remus and Millie's piece of ground, but the normal ones.   
  
James leaned over and kissed Lily just as a red, heart-shaped firework exploded above their heads. And since I don't write PG-13 romance, we'll stop there and run back over to Remus.  
  
~  
  
"WHAT?" Rhett exploded, not unlike the fireworks above. "Your-- your NEW LOVE?" Out of nowhere, he pulled out a deck of cards and thrust it in Remus' face. "Choose--your--card!" he hissed menacingly.  
  
Sirius leaned in closer to hear and see better.   
  
"My what?"  
  
"CARD, card, you fool!"   
  
"Oh. Right." Remus drew a card.   
  
"Now," Rhett continued, "we-shall-DUEL!"  
  
Millie gasped. "Nooooo! Rhett! Don't be rash! Think with your head, not your heart!" she wept. It was all really rather touching and angsty.   
  
"Erm... I'm not from the United States, could you explain what you mean?" Remus asked nervously, bewildered by what he thought duelling was, but inexplicably holding a Jack of Spades in his hand.   
  
Rhett grinned maliciously. "Whoever has the highest card," he said softly, "wins Millie."  
  
Millie sobbed.   
  
"And whoever has the lower card?" Remus swallowed. He hoped he could excape with his life.   
  
"Has to live with the fact that he did not win the most beautiful, charmingly-voiced woman on God's good, green earth!" Rhett finished triumphantly. At that moment, thunder crashed overhead. It was very ominous. The fireworks stopped, and the costumed creatures began to run to their trailers, griping about impossible work conditions. Remus, Millie, Rhett, Sirius and Peter all sat spellbound, however.   
  
Remus lay down his card, which was, if you'll recall, the Jack of Spades. Rhett paled slightly, but drew steadily.   
  
Rhett closed his eyes and threw down his card. Millie gasped. Rhett fainted. And Remus just sat there, relieved.   
  
It was the Ace of Diamonds.   
  
~~~  
  
Wow, can you feel the drama or what? 


	12. A New Beginning

Heh heh. I just got your hopes up for a brand new chapter in uncannily quick timing... for nothing. That's right. I've become one of those annoying authors who take up a whole chapter with their notes. Except this one's important. Seriously.   
  
I'm leaving the country.   
  
No, really. I'm going with my school to Italy and Spain for eighteenish days. =) Very exciting. But, unfortunately, I have been so preoccupied with packing, fretting, fighting off my parents' fears that I will never return, and generally watching the clock in attempts to make time go faster, that I have neglected poor ickle James, Remus, Sirius, Peter, Lily, Millie, Rhett, Snape/Mickey, and, erm, anyone else in my story I forgot to mention.   
  
Right.   
  
Carry on, then.   
  
Sneak peek of the next chapter:   
  
"I think I'm in love with that girl from Holland. The one who sang to me. And only me," Sirius gave a lovestricken sigh.  
  
James raised an eyebrow.  
  
END of SNEAK PEEK  
  
In the meanwhile, visit Homestarrunner.com and our livejournal. As my sister will no doubt be taking many quizzes while I am gone. And, erm, I've only taken like, three.   
  
No matter. I leave the country in two days!!  
  
Hearts, stars and horseshoes, clovers and the moon, pots of golden rainbows, and me red balloons!  
  
Wren, the world traveler.   
  
And her sister. The one who is stuck at home. 


End file.
